Monday, 20 August 2012

Since Eve conceived Cain, there have been mums. Then she had Able and sibling rivalry was born. From there on she clothed, fed, refereed and tried her best to keep house and home in order. But I wonder how she looked after having her children. Did anyone comment to her about how great she looked post-birth or did they say she needed to lose that “baby fat”?
I remember so many details of both of my children’s birth days. There were sweet moments of quiet cuddling, breast feeding, and watching every little thing they did, even as newborns.
One memory though was no so sweet. A few hours after I gave birth to my firstborn, I had friends and family in. One of my friends commented within seconds of arriving and said,”You’re still fat.” Now in my defence I was 124lbs at that moment and I’m 5’2”. Not too bad for having just given birth if you ask me. I don’t think my friend realised what she said and I don’t believe she met to hurt me.   I can’t remember what I said to her but it was probably something lame . I also was wearing a johnny shirt and one of those sexy hospital robes that would make a super model look bad.
When we see new mums and tell them they are looking good/better or losing their baby fat, isn’t that getting little  lot personal? How would we feel as older women if we had those comments said to us?  Or woman that are childless? I’m actually guilty about this myself. A while ago, I commented to two mums that they were looking great post-birth. As soon as I said it I realised that they both had probably heard this a gazillion times. They were both gracious about it but something in me screamed that this was going over the line even though I thought they “needed” to hear this and was trying to be complimentary to them.
The Hollywood crowd, the media, magazines, and even respectable newspapers are all guilty of wanting mummy to lose her baby weight and look as good as she did pre-baby.  Then they splash their post-birth pics on their front covers with mummy’s belly being the centre of attention. Why should we as woman/mums have to show off any part of us to the world in the first place!? I mean really, do you see how the dads look post-birth? NO!!!
Think about it. You’ve gained 20 or more pounds, your skin is stretched to the limit and you’ve been carrying this precious bundle inside of you for 9 months. Sounds like a marathon to me.
I think stretch marks and some “baby weight” are medals of honour for every baby you have.  We real mummys don’t have nannys, personal trainers, our meals prepared for us and $$$ coming out of our ears. We actually have to look after our children (hopefully along with dad) run the home (again,hopefully along with hubby), and for some of us, go back to work a few weeks/months after giving birth.
All mums are beautiful inside and out. Parenthood can be tiring &challenging, so instead of harping on how a mum looks, why not take a meal over for the family, offer to do some housework or baby sit while mum can have some personal time getting her hair done?
No one is perfect. Not even the Hollywood-super model people. Beauty is something that radiates from within you. Your looks take a backseat to who you really are and if you’re content to be you. (I’m preaching to myself here!). I’ve met people who by the world’s standards are “beautiful” only to discover that they are ugly inside and it did radiate to their outward appearance soon after we met.
"The Hand That Rocks The Cradle Is The Hand That Rules The World" is a poem by William Ross Wallace that praises motherhood. That one line says it all. It’s up to each and every one of us whether we will be “beautiful” or “ugly”, whether we’ve had a baby or not,  and I don’t mean our exterior.  And let’s be kind to those mums that need our support, not our comments about their body.


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